JUST HOW AGGRESSIVE ARE PASSIVE AGRESSIVES

 Very

Having lived with more than a few, the most glaring underlying issue for these people is CONTROL.  This means that they suffer from feelings of lack of control and weakness.  Before I go into the analysis let me share with you symptoms from the DSM 

Specific signs of passive-aggressive behavior include:

• Resentment and opposition to the demands of others, especially the demands of people in positions of authority
• Resistance to cooperation, procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands
• Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude
• Frequent complaints about feeling underappreciated or cheated

Although passive-aggressive behavior can be a feature of various mental health conditions, it isn't considered a distinct mental illness. However, passive-aggressive behavior can interfere with relationships and cause difficulties on the job. 

Basically the symptoms translate to being unable to be relational.  A passive aggressive man may seek out a strong caring woman who he can initially love bomb and eventually rebel against.  Rebellion and defensiveness define this type of person.  They seem very stubborn one moment and act completely acquiescent and apologetic the next.  How many times did I hear, I will never do that again.  The sad thing about the passive aggressive is that they never get a chance to truly know themselves.  They become a persona rather than a person.  As a psychiatrist friend told me, "the syrup drips from their fangs".  

For the person in relationship with a passive aggressive, the relationship will be defined by irritation, confusion and ultimately a feeling of being very unsafe.  I initially pointed out the issue, then I confronted, then I became furious, then I left.  There is an old book called "Passive Men Wild Women".  The attack is stealthy like leaving tasks unfinished or poorly done, "forgetting" in order to weasel out of taking responsibility, complaining with veiled threats like, "I just can't live this way" or "do you even love me"(what they mean is "I don't love you")

Living with a person like this is bad for your health and will make you feel angry and powerless over the relationship...when you feel this way it is time to go.