TRAUMA ON A MASS SCALE PART 7…COVID...AUTHORITARIANISM...EPSTEIN FILES

THE SLOW CREEP OF AUTHORITARIANISM

As a 75 year old I remember times that were comfortable and safe in the 50's and times that were crazy and horrible like the 60's and 70's with assassinations, the Viet Nam War, and Kent State.  During those crazy times most of us had been raised in comfortable homes where both parents who didn't need to work. As kids we played in the streets and had an intuitive sense of safety.  When the crazy started happening in the 60's we mobilized more than today because we were healthy and strong and had faith in ourselves.  

Today is a different story.  Here is a brief perspective.  Watergate happened in 1972.  I remember when Nixon started the privatization of health care.  That was the beginning of a slow accumulation of the degeneration of the "good old days" after FDR.  We were all like frogs in the heating up of water.  There were the John Birchers but they were marginalized.  Then came Reagan who was the anti government president. Then George Bush who cosigned president Reagan's policies. He was succeeded by bill Clinton who praised neoliberalism and capitulated to the republicans by continuing to see the profit motive of privatization.  There was a very slow erosion of FDR's policies even with our darling president Barack Obama who came out in the beginning as anti gay in order to get the votes needed.  He was a very eloquent charismatic Neoliberal who totally botched the housing crisis and gave money to the banks instead of the people who were threatened with foreclosure. This whole era was a very slow moving crisis which was exemplified by householders who had to work two jobs to survive and provide child care.  The safety of union involvement was severely degraded during this period.  Colleges became unaffordable for most.  When I graduated from CSULA in 1973 with a Masters degree I paid $152.00 per quarter.  Today's tuition is between $7000.00 and $20,000 per year depending on whether you are in state or out of state.  Down the street USC tuition is $72,000.  This is just one example of how trending neoliberalism has eroded our ability to feel safe and comfortable in the period from 1970 to 2020.  

After Trumps first presidency, he lost his 2nd term to Joe Biden.  Bernie Sanders had been in office of one kind or another since 1981.  His democratic socialist message has been consistent for all the years he has been in office.  He is an FDR progressive for the people.  I believe he could have won but he was replaced by the democratic establishment with Joe Biden who was marginally  a very good president and was in serious in decline.  His loss in 2024 marks the end of the slow deminishment  of FDR's policies.

With Trump's second term we are now frogs feeling the heat and pretty much close to boiling due to his open and very rapid dismantling of our government with the help of the authors of Project 2025.  We are scared and traumatized by what is going on and it will only get worse.  He has a very strident cult of followers responsible for about 30's of the vote, but who knows if we will even have a vote in the next election. 

Those who feel traumatized are tired and afraid and on the verge of just giving up.  We are hit with 24/7 frightening news and are tempted to put our collective heads in the sand, especially after experiencing COVID.

COVID

When COVID hit in the early months of 2020 life changed in the world.  Children were no longer going to school and in lock down, those who complied were at home working online or losing their jobs.  Life radically changed and for many this was a trauma.  Many children, especially teens and preteens suffered the most because these are the years when peer group is everything and children are beginning the process of separation from parents for the inevitable change of leaving home and finding their own way either in college or out in the work world.  Many children became depressed and became glued to their phones in an effort to have some connection with others.  

Adults, especially extroverted adults suffered just as much as they became more isolated and started watching the news where there were daily statistics of the number of dead and hospitalized for the illness.  Those who recovered often developed Long COVID which we still don't understand.  Vaccines were released and we sat in our cars in long lines to get our first shots of this new MRNA Vaccine.  The anti vaxers lead by RFK JR refused the vaccines as all kinds of propaganda appealed to the fear spread by propagandists.  Many of these people died or ended up in intensive care in hospitals.

First responders stayed on the job especially hospital workers.  They watched powerlessly as patients started dying and then their own colleagues got sick and died.  Mask wearing became controversial which only lead to more spread.  It took years for the pandemic to be called off in favor of the label endemic.  And still people are dying from the illness. 

We were all touched by the pandemic and were required to adjust while dealing with PTSD, long COVID, depressed children and teens, little ones who never knew anything different and an economy that was damaged by the lockdowns and the sickness.  Many of us are still recovering. 

EPSTEIN FILES

It is difficult to estimate the number of people sexually assaulted because over 50% never report.  Freud estimated the 70% of females of all ages experience sexual assault.  I don't think that number is that far off.  Males are not exempt from sexual assault as well.  

This new emergence of the Epstein Files are triggering for those who are involved but for those also who were ever sexually abused.  I find myself, a survivor, obsessed with the news and am exasperated by the lack of transparency of our government on all levels to release all the files even though the president has the power to release them.  The triggers can be subtle like mine or profound leading to fear and anxiety as well as depression and a tendency to self harm.  

THE DEGENERATE TIMES

In Buddhism these times we are living in are predicted in teachings to be the degenerate times when teaching about loving kindness, compassion, wisdom, and the interdependence of all things are needed.  As Tibet was taken over by the Chinese many Tibetan teachers were moving to the west to teach Buddhist Principles.  The Dalai Lama moved to India for refuge. These teachings are antidotes to the trauma experienced on a personal levels as well as the mass traumas above as well as the mass trauma of war and authoritarianism.

I contemplate impermanence every day with the faith that we can recover from all of this.  One of my favorite prayers that I recite every day is: (Please refer to part 3 in this series...The answers are in Buddhism)

May the terrible weapons of modern warfare-nuclear weapons, biological weapons and so forth that threaten to destroy the earth, and may all our ill fortune leading to great wars and armed conflict be utterly pacified.  May the world enjoy happiness similar to that of the golden age.

Another:

In all countries may disease, war and famine be pacified.  May all beings have bliss, happiness and engage in the Dharma.  

It is possible to recover from our traumas by developing a healthy relationship to them and by developing compassion to self as well as others. Working with a knowlegeable professional can be very helpful.  Community involvement also is a great reminder that we are all connected and interdependent.  Stress reduction, healthy sleep patterns, healthy diet, are also important.  Nothing is more important than being authentically who we are.

Much love and be well,

Michele Happe MA mhappenow.happe@gmail.com  775 230-1507

Search for my Metabolic Mind Page and  my Psychology Today page

Comments are welcomed 

PART 4 HEALING TRAUMA AND HEALTH

We know that trauma has profound effects on both physical and emotional health.  I have outlined many of the emotional health manifestations in part one.  Unfortunately the medical and mental health community have ignored physical well being as if the brain is somehow separate from the body.  It is so important to bring help and healing to the whole person while working with the effects of trauma.  When we look at mental health problems they are very often accompanied by metabolic health problems such as type 2 diabetes, obesity, heart disease and and auto-immune issues and of course all kinds of addictions.  

Life style is the key to enhancing health and happiness.  Once we do our trauma work and have begun to function with some hope for happiness and are able to embrace our trauma as a part of out history which has launched the ability to function from the perspective of deep self compassion and wisdom, we are much more able to treat our physical selves with kindness and healing as well.  My focus in this part 4 is precisely those aspects of life style.

Nutrition 

One of the primary attempts to self sooth when restimulation of trauma arises is use of food.  Binging on a favorite junk food like ice cream (mother's milk), chips, baked goods like cookies, cake and bread are the usual suspects.  I used to alternate sweet, then salty, and back as my binge favorite especially when high on weed.  The effect of these favorites including alcohol and drugs is to dampen the feelings associated with trauma.  It is an attempt to re-regulate our nervous system by aversion of having those emotions.  The willingness to give up these substances (I hesitate to call them nutrition) is very hard to break.  We are like little ones who cling to our blanket in order to feel a fleeting sense of safety which eventually become the source of guilt, remorse and self hatred.  Self hatred erases the work of self compassion.  

If you decide to clean up your nutrition act, it is important to go thru a period of withdrawal, both emotional and physical and to find other self soothing stimulations which are healthy and effective.  Believe me it is so worth it in the end once the feeling of physical well being is enhanced.  

So let's talk about nutrition.  Every person is different and requires different levels of macro nutrition.  The first thing to do is to simply eliminate all packaged junk food.  This will cut down on your consumption of sugar and processed carbs.  If you find yourself feeling substantially better, then this is your food plan....no junk food.  But if you suffer from any metabolic disorders you may need to go further.  When I reduced my carb intake with the ketogenic diet which stresses moderate protein, high fat and no more than 20 net carbs, my Autism comorbities resolved.  No more depression and anxiety.  My energy increased and the clarity of mind was amazing.  My moods were stable and I felt blessed from eating this way.  I still had my favorites like low carb Magic Spoon cereal and homemade keto bread which tugged at my cravings but even those were muted by the extreme reduction of carbs.  I was in mild ketosis but my yearly blood work always showed that I had "mild pre diabetes".  All my research showed me that I needed to go further to resolve the elevated blood glucose and insulin resistance (hyper insulinemia). So I further restricted my macros to animal protein and lots of yummy animal fat and essentially no carbs or fiber.  For me this was transformational.  All cravings were gone.  Hunger was suppressed  to the point that I started eating 2 meals per day within a 6 hour window.  Food was relegated to fuel for health rather than a quick easy fix to regulate my emotional pain.  My blood glucose went from 108 to 76 and my fasting insulin went from 5.8 to 2.5.  I no longer had pre diabetes.  I even found out that my atherosclerosis in my heart and aorta was extremely low.  

So the type of nutrition you eat should be defined by the level of metabolic health you desire.  Eating whole one ingredient food is key.  It can be vegetarian, mediteratian, keto or carnivore.  Regular blood work is very helpful but it is important to remember that the numbers represented are averages of mostly those who eat the very unhealthy standard American diet which has inflated out rates of obesity, diabetes, and heart disease.  I am 75 and take no prescriptions only supplements like magnesium, D3/K2, vitamin C to reduce bruising and lots of salt and electrolytes.  

Exercise

Regular exercise keeps us healthy and strong. Resistance training (lifting heavy things) brisk walking, yoga, sports, HIIT, are all good choices.  I swim laps in the pool 6 days per week.  I love being in the water and the meditative effect of patterned breathing. Do what you enjoy in order to be committed to exercise in the long run.  

Spiritual connection

Your spiritual connection is also very individual.  Whatever form you choose, it should meet your needs and resonate with you.  Think in terms of not needing to change much to fit in rather than trying to change yourself in order to fit in.  This goes for atheists and agnostics as well.  Choosing ethical conduct and kindness and meditation is a fine choice especially if it enhances your self compassion work.  I chose Tibetan Buddhism and I practice every day and lead a little Sangha practice group which I sincerely enjoy. 

Good sleep 

Healthy nutrition enhances good sleep.  Try to get 8 hours.  Many of us post menopausal women have broken sleep.  I have found this to not be a problem.  I get up to pee a couple times and even watch a fun show, then go back to sleep.  I am an extreme lark so I am asleep by five and up by 1 or 2 am.  It is now 2:34 am. This is my favorite most productive time of the day.  I swim at 5 am and enjoy the empty gym.  Whether you are a lark or an owl my opinion is that we do better if we can set up our lives so that we can honor our natural biorhythms.  I don't understand the necessity of molding ourselves to the cultural norms although not all of us can honor our biorhythms out of financial necessity.

Social Network

Having healthy satisfying connection with others is key to general health.  Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert will define the types of connections you have.  I live with my immediate family and connect with them every day.  I have a few friends which I treasure but am not fully engaged with.  Once a week is enough for me.  My main social connections are my clients I meet with and love dearly. As an introvert that is enough for me and makes me very happy.  Extroverts get regulated by being engaged in activities with others, introverts get regulated by being alone. Choose your social live accordingly.  

My next part will present a few case studies who I am currently working with.  These will be anonymous in order to protect their privacy.  They have all consented and will reflect the amount of work and healing that has currently been achieved.  All will have read their pieces and approved before publishing.   

Until then

Much love and be well,

Michele Happe MA mhappenow.happe@gmail.com  775 230-1507

Search for my Metabolic Mind Page and  my Psychology Today page

Comments are welcomed 

PART 3 HELP AND HEALING COMES FROM BUDDHISM

I am listening to a book called Outshining Trauma.  Ralph De La Rosa speaks to me so deeply.  As a Buddhist practitioner I believe that the principles we learn and revere can not only heal trauma but can promote true happiness and even help with the attainment of unceasing wisdom and compassion.  

Compassion is the key.  One of my great pleasures in life is reading a list of people who are currently suffering.  Reading their names out loud make me feel love for myself as an opening of my heart and love for them as I think of them throughout the day.  

Trauma does not go away.  It ebbs and flows based on our experiences in life.  In order to heal from trauma I encourage and have achieved a relationship with it.  First we embrace whatever happened to us whether it was losing a home from a tornado(PTSD), COVID, or repeated abuse and neglect in our family culture(COMPLEX PTSD). We send love and compassion to ourselves as the person who is experiencing the trigger which is disregulating to the point that we can enter fight or flight behavior. 

 In the nineties inner child work was the rage.  It seemed hokey and I attended meetings where people were holding teddy bears or dolls representing their inner child.  I benefitted greatly by looking at a picture of my sad little self at 3 when the abuse started and deciding that I would be her protector.  This is how you develop self compassion.  It is amazing how many of my clients who are able to detach from their own traumatic experiences by rationalizing excuses for the one who targeted them but find it so hard to send love to the being who was so deeply affected by the abuser.  Being able to develop self compassion takes practice.  

Mindfulness and a searching and fearless inventory   

Primary tenants of Buddhism are to be authentic and true to who we are.  Once we have been traumatized much of our identity gets hidden due to shame, anger, guilt and we pretend or mask to seem well adjusted or just ok.  This makes getting reactivated from a trigger so much more possible.  I take many of my clients through an inventory that asks probing questions about childhood adolescence and adulthood.  It is pretty exhaustive.  Their answers culminate in developing patterns of character strengths as well as character flaws.  They come to know who they are, what their triggers are and the patterns that set them up for increased suffering.  This process activates authenticity.

Mindfulness is a teaching that asks us to be an observer of our own mind and to point out to ourselves where we are engaging in delusional thinking.  What is most important about mindfulness is to be able to send love and compassion to our delusional thinking which makes it possible to train our minds to the truth that we know in our hearts....that we have our own pure wisdom and compassion within us and that to be born human, past karma puts obstacles and obscurations in our way of this true nature of our own mind.  When we accept this we are then capable of transforming our own mind which sets the scene for true healing of trauma.  

A helpful tool is to embrace our hurt little child in the loving arms of your own inner parent.  This part of us exists to sooth our pain and open ourselves up to the truth who we are and that we deserve- compassion from self and others.  We develop a relationship with our trauma and love it back to health.  I tell my clients who bathe themselves in guilt and shame for what they have been through that if they keep that up Ill need to call child protective services on them because we don't treat children that way.  They usually get it instantly and we laugh together.  One of my clients who went through horrific trauma in childhood is stuck with an inner mantra which says, "it wasn't that bad".  When she is able to release the mantra and claim it to be delusional, her work will then be able to gain insight and the ability to truly heal.  

With practice we get better at mindfulness and authenticity and we come to ask ourselves important questions like "am I unnecessarily beating up myself internally" and "could I be taking better care of myself by setting boundaries with others and myself with compassion?"  "Am I in a relationship that is a trauma bond". Just being able to ask this question of ourselves is the path to great awareness and gradually the ability to structure our lives that enable us to be happy and productive rather than trying to fit into a norm by masking and pretending that we are "OK" which only makes our suffering worse.  We are OK only when we are able be our true self.  This is why as a coach I am very much an open book and am happy to share the path that got me here and the mistakes I make every day.  It is important to embrace imperfection as a being in the human realm.  It is part of the deal.  We embrace this with love but don't make it a justification for our less than enlightened  behavior. And we press on and practice and grow by increments.  

Support for this process is essential, whether it is with a therapist, coach, support group or fellow survivor who is on the healing path.  We cannot do this alone.  Our trauma is a part of our history.  With mindful awareness when we get reactivated by a present experience and can name it as a trigger and then re regulate through meditation, a phone call to a friend, a call to our coach, a call to our own inner loving parent or even a YouTube video that is soothing and we are right back in healing mode. In this sense we are developing a healthy relationship to our own trauma.  We embrace the fact that all emotions are fleeting, impermanent and will pass.  We are now in this moment to be happy and productive humans.  We are enabled to be IN the present moment which hold the full potential  for health happiness and the ability to pass on our healing to others who suffer.  

In the next part I will talking more about health.  For now:

Much love and be well,

Michele Happe MA mhappenow.happe@gmail.com  775 230-1507

Search for my Metabolic Mind Page and  my Psychology Today page

Comments are welcomed